For the most part, I can be described as an openly-known Witch. I write blog posts and provide services as a priestess to my community, such as weddings or counseling or ministry. I lead study groups, book clubs, and a coven. I’m known mostly by my public Craft name — Lady Serpent — but many who know my by my personal name also know of my religious beliefs and interests. I don’t widely broadcast it, but I don’t necessarily hide it either, and I’ve been fortunate that when I’m asked about my practice or religion, I’m able to answer, “Yes, I am a Witch,” without any actual fear for my safety or well-being.
But what if you aren’t public about your practice or if you don’t have that level of security, either with family or friends, or maybe your job or social circles. How do you confidently answer that question? Or make that statement if you feel the need to be open with others and make your beliefs known.
If you prefer to remain a private Witch, that’s perfectly fine. There is no commandment that says you must proclaim your faith or practice publicly for the world to know. As with anything in life, and especially as with anything in Witchcraft, it is a personal choice and you must make the decision based on what is wisest for you and your situation.
If you choose to remain private, you take on the responsibility of navigating that just as if you choose to go public, or semi-public. Being a private Witch has its own circumstances to manage. But, in either situation, you need to know how to manage questions in case you get them.
Whether you’re being asked about your practice or it’s your choice to come out of the “broom closet” to another person, most of the same information will apply.
First: Sit with yourself and imagine how you would answer questions if you are asked. Do you find yourself defaulting to describing your practices or beliefs as something that they are not? It’s a sign of no confidence to rely entirely on defensive speech. It’s okay to use these opposing points as clarification, or as a jumping-off point to move on to a more solid explanation, however if you don’t quickly switch gears then it’s likely the conversation will spiral out of control. You’ll be left feeling like you have to defend yourself rather than educate the other person.
Basically, if you have to define what Witchcraft is by saying “don’t” over and over again, you aren’t actually explaining or educating because you aren’t supplying knowledge. Words like don’t, in this case are for clarification. So do not set your entire defining parameters by that word.
Witches don’t worship the devil.
Witches don’t kill animals.
Witches don’t fly on brooms, or cast spells like in fantasy books, or…
All of those statements are essentially true and are often used to enlighten someone who may have misconceptions about Witches and our practices or beliefs. But denying something doesn’t actually offer education on its own. Okay, so Witches don’t worship the devil, who do we worship? Do we actually worship anything?
That is a multi-layered answer and will vary from Witch to Witch. But each Witch should be able to say, “Well, speaking for myself, I worship ______ because I believe/practice/do.” and go from there. If you aren’t doing that follow-up, you need to go back and figure out how you would handle it.
If your personal best is only the “don’t” response, then you may have some work to do to better educate yourself, come to a stronger understanding of your own inner being, and gain more confidence. It’s frustrating to know for yourself that you’re on the right path and not be able to explain that effectively to another person. It hurts when you aren’t accepted or respected.
When someone asks me a question, I ask them one in return before I decide how to answer. This first response question of mine is always, “Well, what do you think ____ is/means?”
First example: (this is the way not to do it, in my opinion.)
“Are you a Witch?”
“Yes.”
Second example: (the better alternative)
“Are you a Witch?”
“Well, what do you think a Witch is?”
The first example has a tendency to overshadow the rest of the conversation because I don’t know what the person has in mind when they use the word Witch. I don’t actually know if I fit their description of one.
What if they think Witches are evil? Devil-Worshipers? Sex-crazed fluffy flakes out to work for the evil cult overlord they follow? Someone who thinks they can shoot fireballs and levitate to the tops of buildings?
If they don’t actually understand what a Witch is and think it’s one or more of these things, then what have I done but confirm in their mind before we even get started that I’m a psychotic nut with delusions of grandeur?
I just answered, “Yes,” to all of that…
Oops.
However, by asking them what they think that word means, I know now where to begin our conversation. They can respond with thinking it was any of those I listed, or maybe they could say something like, “I don’t know, I heard it has something to do with honoring the Earth. Or thinking you can control someone and make them love you.” I can now clarify, explain, or educate more concisely.
This pattern can be followed along many possible questions:
“Do you cast spells?”
“What do you think a spell is?”
To summarize: If you’re presented with a “yes/no” question, see if you can turn it into an opportunity to provide information. Ask them to broaden the question or clarify what it is they want to know.
Second: Understand that no one wants to be spoken for and that when you answer questions or offer information you aren’t speaking for all Witches. You may be speaking for a majority of us, but outside of the Witchcraft community, the level of independent thought that Witches cling to and espouse may not be fully understood.
So, when you speak about Witchcraft and fail to use words like most, some, several, many, few, you are turning yourself into a bearer of false information.
Watch for key words like all, none, always, and never, because most of the time, those are clues to a false statement. In general, it may be mostly accurate to say, “Witches don’t cast curses on people.” or “Witches never draw blood for magic or in ritual.”
But there are Witches that do both of these things. There are talented, serious, devoted, faithful, good people who practice Witchcraft and do these things.
If you answer questions with all/none, then all it takes is for someone with a different Craft practice to cross this person’s path, and answer the question for themselves, “Do you ever cast curses on people?” in the affirmative, and now this questioner thinks they’ve been lied to because you said Witches don’t do that.
You may think you’ve done the right thing by trying to educate people as to the positive underpinnings of Witchcraft, but in all actuality, you’ve set us up for failure and to look like liars because outsiders don’t really understand just how individualized the Craft truly is.
Volunteering the information
What if you’re more in the position of wanting to open up and tell someone about your Craft, what can you do?
Just as with the first example, try to provide information and ask questions to find out what the person already thinks a Witch is or what Witchcraft is.
Make sure that they already have a solid understanding of who and what you are as a person, because if they don’t know you, they might not have a reason to believe you when you say you aren’t going to lead their loved one into wickedness or something equally as bad.
Third: You aren’t obligated to engage in or continue with any conversation done in bad faith. Sometimes people just want to argue or make themselves feel like they’re a Defender of the Faith(!). If you feel like you aren’t being listened to or your answers aren’t being respected, you can say, “I don’t think this conversation is productive and I’m going to end it now.”
Signs this might be the case are if the same point keeps being made repeatedly, even though you’ve given an answer; if you feel like you’re not being taken seriously, you’re being talked-down to, or mocked; if you feel uncomfortable or unsafe remaining in their company.
Education can only happen when there is a willingness to learn. Try to cultivate the ability to know if someone is talking with you or talking at you.
Is this a conversation where there’s a respectful exchange of ideas, or is this simply a conversion attempt and the person is trying to convince you that you are wrong? Have enough respect for yourself and your practice to just walk away.
I’ll share something from my own experience.
Years ago, when my husband and I first began our relationship and I met his parents (Conservative Christians), his father asked me, “So what church do you go to?”
It’s my first time meeting them, they don’t know anything about me, and there’s no way I’m going to answer with, “Well, I’m actually a High Priestess of the Cosmic Spiral Tradition of Religious Witchcraft.”
Eeesh… Can you imagine how well that would have gone?
Instead I said, “Well, I don’t really have a church. I prefer to do small group study or work on my own. I feel like that provides a deeper spiritual connection. But when I was younger, I went to Macedonian Orthodox church with my dad. There isn’t a Macedonian church out here, and that’s really the only one I’d feel right about attending.”
“What’s Macedonian Orthodox? I’ve never heard of that.”
“It’s kind of similar to Catholicism…”
And it went from there with me being completely honest–I would attend an M.O. church–and still directing the topic to a safer area.
Maybe five or so years later, I had a conversation with his mom where I actually told her that I’m Wiccan and practice Witchcraft.
Her response to that was, “But you’re so nice!”
She had always been taught that witches were evil. Here I was, totally proving that wrong for years, so we had a chuckle and deep discussion where I was able to explain a lot to her.
I have an older post where I go into answering more questions asked of me in greater depth, if you’d like to read it here: Some Questions I’ve Been Asked.
And while we don’t agree on religion, I do have a good relationship with my husband’s parents.
I hope that you can have the same if your faith or practice becomes known.
The Keeper's Path 